SPIRITUAL HEALTH & EMOTIONAL WELLNESS- Reader responds to "Bullying Series".

My December Post will be about how Pride and Humility affects the Spiritual Health and Emotional Wellness of individuals and the nation.

Today I am sharing this story from a follower of my blog. Maybe you have a similar story you would like to share with me.

READER RESPONDS TO BULLYING SERIES WITH A BITTER/SWEET STORY

She STOOD UP TO HER BULLY AND THE ORGANISATION. Although she won the case there was Permanent damage to her career. Eventually the boss was terminated of his position

"just read your bullying latest.... i was a victim of this type of bullying/harassment and had to actually walk out of my job two years ago. My boss and two members of the board of directors fit the Jekyll and Hyde statements you made. Fortunately I documented everything that occurred in the four years i was employed there and was able to successfully win an harassment case. Unfortunately my career was cut short, the compensation received was only for three months salary and the staff and board continued on. I often had to relive my times at the place of employment as the harassment case was fought. It has ruined my career and thrust me into early retirement. Eventually the boss was terminated of his position. When reading your latest update today, confirmed that I was subject to this. I would love to advocate for anyone going through the same and hopefully one day I can help someone in a similar situation.

I wish you all the best in this ministry you are doing!"

I hope this will encourage someone going through this type of an experience. If you would like this person to an advocate for you, just contact me and I will connect you.

Until next time

Blessings!

Pastor H

Bullying by Clergy-EPILOGUE

A friend of mine was instructing water safety at a summer camp. He was supposed to demonstrate the proper way to get into a canoe. In the process of getting into the canoe he capsized it. Recovering from the embarrassing ordeal he said to the laughing onlookers, “Now that is how not to get into a canoe.”

As an epilogue to my series on bullying by clergy, I decided to leave you with a case history of “How Not to Deal with a Bullying Complaint.” It is based on a real incident so I will give concise facts.

1.       Complaint is filed in accordance with employment policy.

2.       The accusation is about acts of bullying and harassment against the employer experienced and witnessed by the complainant.

3.       The Board of Directors strike a committee of the Board to deal with the complaint.

4.       No policy in place to deal with a complaint of this nature so a higher authority is consulted on how to proceed.

5.       A meeting is called and the complainant and the accused are invited to appear before the committee. The accused decided not to appear and briefed the committee of his decision before the meeting.

6.       The meeting proceeded and the complaint was presented.

7.       At the conclusion of the meeting the complainant requested protection because he was a whistle blower against his employee. (Request was not granted).

8.       The accused responded to the written complaint with an email.

9.       The complainant requested an opportunity to respond to the email in person. (Request was denied).

10.   The accused remained in his position during the investigation of the complaint. The complainant was required to work under his authority.

11.   The accused was in direct contact with the committee during the investigation.

12.   The accused contacted people who were party to the complaint and questioned them on the matter. One person was requested to write the Board of Directors in his support.

13.   The committee issued a letter concerning their findings during their investigation.

14.   The Complainant met with the chair to receive the findings. Objections were raised concerning the process and certain contents of the letter. No opportunity was given to express these concerns to the Board of Directors and a formal request was not honored. No action was taken against the accused.

15.   The complainant decided not to appeal. The issue remained unresolved.

AFTERMAT.

Within 4-10 months after the complaint was filed the department that was headed by the complainant was abolished. Two of the employees implicated in the complaint as victims were let go. The other party, who resigned in the process, withdrew the resignation, wrote a letter to the board of directors in support of the employer and is still employed. The action was initiated by the accused and it appears to have the approval of the Board of Directors and their Superior Officers in the organization. What’s wrong with this picture?????? Post your comment.

WHAT A TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE!!!!!

Maybe someone would like to email me a policy on how to deal with a complaint of bullying the right way. I will be glad to forward it to this particular organization which desperately needs direction in this type of a matter.

Pastor H

SPIRITUAL HEALTH & EMOTIONAL WELLNESS - Bullying by CLERGY Part 3.

Ted Williams said, “All you can do is all you can do, but all you can do is enough.” I have done all I can do to at this time to raise public awareness through my blog posts, on the subject of, “ Bullying in the Church by Clergy,” I hope it is enough to make a difference. In researching and from responses I have received, I have learned not only is this type of behavior widespread, it is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to injustices that are carried on in churches and in denominational circles. It is appalling!  Should anyone in Church Leadership be reading these articles, I appeal to you to take responsibility and give the type of leadership that will stop the bully from filling a pulpit. Do not allow this type of person to navigate the system with ease leaving in their wake a line of casualties.

Danni Moss in her blog: “Because It Matters”, in her article, “Is Your Pastor A Serial Bully?”, gives this description of a serial bully. I was alerted to this by a reader and decided to share it in my final part on Bullying by Clergy. 

The serial bully:

• is a *convincing,* *practised liar* and when called to account,
  will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment
• has a *Jekyll and Hyde nature* – is vile, vicious and vindictive
  in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses;
  no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive
  nature – only the current target of the serial bully’s aggression
  sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as “charming”
  and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a
  tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as “evil”; Hyde is
  the real person, Jekyll is an act
• excels at *deception* and should never be underestimated in their
  capacity to deceive
• uses excessive *charm* and is always plausible and convincing when
  peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to
  deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy)
• is *glib, shallow and superficial* with plenty of fine words and
  lots of form – but there’s no substance
• is possessed of an *exceptional verbal facility* and will
  outmanoeuvre most people in verbal interaction, especially at
  times of conflict
• is often described as *smooth*, *slippery, slimy, ingratiating,
  fawning, toadying, obsequious, sycophantic*
• relies on *mimicry, repetition* and *regurgitation* to convince
  others that he or she is both a “normal” human being and a tough
  dynamic manager, as in extolling the virtues of the latest
  management fads and pouring forth the accompanying jargon
• is unusually skilled in *being able to anticipate what people want
  to hear* and then saying it plausibly
• *cannot be trusted or relied upon*
• *fails to fulfil commitments*
• is *emotionally retarded* with an *arrested level of emotional
  development*; whilst language and intellect may appear to be that
  of an adult, the bully displays the emotional age of a five-year-old
• is *emotionally immature* and *emotionally untrustworthy*
• exhibits *unusual and inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters,
  sexual behaviour and bodily functions*; underneath the charming
  exterior there are often suspicions or hints of sex discrimination
  and sexual harassment, perhaps also sexual dysfunction, sexual
  inadequacy, sexual perversion, sexual violence or sexual abuse
• in a relationship, is *incapable of initiating or sustaining
  intimacy*
• *holds deep prejudices* (eg against the opposite gender, people of
  a different sexual orientation, other cultures and religious
  beliefs, foreigners, etc – prejudiced people are unvaryingly
  unimaginative) but goes to great lengths to keep this prejudicial
  aspect of their personality secret
• is *self-opinionated* and displays *arrogance*, *audacity, a
  superior sense of entitlement* and sense of *invulnerability* and
  *untouchability*
• has a deep-seated *contempt of clients* in contrast to his or her
  professed compassion
• is a *control freak* and has a *compulsive need to control*
  everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for
  example, will launch an immediate personal attack attempting to
  restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking
  knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial
  personality disorder
  in their presence -
  but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually
  unknowledgeably) about anything they choose; serial bullies
  despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception
  and their mask of sanity
• displays a *compulsive need to criticise* whilst simultaneously
  *refusing to value*, praise and acknowledge others, their
  achievements, or their existence
• *shows a lack of joined-up thinking* with conversation that
  doesn’t flow and arguments that don’t hold water
• *flits from topic to topic* so that you come away feeling you’ve
  never had a proper conversation
• *refuses to be specific* and *never gives a straight answer*
• is *evasive* and has a Houdini-like ability to *escape
  accountability*
• *undermines* and *destroys* anyone who the bully perceives to be
  an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the
  bully’s mask
• is *adept at creating conflict *between those who would otherwise
  collate incriminating information about them
• is *quick to discredit and neutralise* anyone who can talk
  knowledgeably about antisocial or sociopathic behaviors
• may pursue a *vindictive vendetta* against anyone who dares to
  hold them accountable, perhaps using others’ resources and
  contemptuous of the damage caused to other people and
  organisations in pursuance of the vendetta
• is also *quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit*
  anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the bully to
  account
• *gains gratification from denying people what they are entitled to*
• is *highly manipulative*, especially of people’s perceptions and
  emotions (eg guilt)
• *poisons peoples’ minds* by manipulating their perceptions
• when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of
  others, responds with *impatience, irritability and aggression*
• *is arrogant, haughty, high-handed*, and *a know-all*
• often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic
  *attention-seeking
  need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and
  compassionate person*, in contrast to their behaviour and
  treatment of others; the bully sees nothing wrong with their
  behavior and chooses to remain oblivious to the discrepancy
  between how they like to be seen and how they are seen by others
• is *spiritually dead* although may loudly profess some religious
  belief or affiliation
• is *mean-spirited*, *officious*, and often *unbelievably petty*
• is *mean, stingy*, and *financially untrustworthy*
• is *greedy, selfish, *a *parasite *and an *emotional vampire*
• is *always a taker *and *never a giver* [Note from Danni: On this one I would say, never a giver unless there is a hidden motive of manipulation to gain.]
• is convinced of their *superiority* and has an *overbearing belief
  in their qualities of leadership* but cannot distinguish between
  leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, co-operation,
  trust, integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness,
  aggression, manipulation, distrust, deceitfulness)
• often *fraudulently claims* qualifications, experience, titles,
  entitlements or affiliations which are ambiguous, misleading, or
  bogus
• often *misses the semantic meaning of language*, misinterprets
  what is said, sometimes wrongly thinking that comments of a
  satirical, ironic or general negative nature apply to him or herself
• *knows the words but not the song*
• is *constantly imposing on others a false reality* made up of
  distortion and fabrication
• sometimes *displays a seemingly limitless demonic energy*
  especially when engaged in attention-seeking activities or evasion
  of accountability and is often a *committeeaholic* or apparent
  *workaholic*

A serial bully may also have the personality of a sociopath. I have had the unpleasant experience of witnessing this type of personality and behavior in action. The damage done to innocent people is heartbreaking. Please take a stand against it. For more information on the characteristics of a Sociopath I recommend these links.http://www.ehow.com/how_6781398_tell-someone-sociopath.html.http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

 

Blessings!

Until Next Time,

Pastor Harold

 

SPIRITUAL HEALTH & EMOTIONAL WELLNESS- Bullying by CLERGY Part 2.

Well, based on the number of visits to my blog last month (over 400), I have concluded that this subject is one of interest and there is a significant number of people who have been victims of abuse by people in authority. Therefore, this post is a sequel on the subject.

 Awareness is the first step toward stopping the injustice and humiliation caused by bullying in the home, school, workplace, and yes, the church. I believe sharing information on the subject of bullying is helpful in this regard. What I am sharing includes real life experience, even more authentic than Reality T.V.

I recently read this concise description of the tactics used in the art of bullying. I used the word art because bullying is not a reaction or simply an emotional outburst. It comes from a personality disorder and it is well orchestrated. The bully gets his/her kick from the energy of planning and executing the scheme. This behavior ultimately meets an unmet need in his or her life in an abnormal way. Maybe a more accurate term to use would be “science” instead of “art,” since it is something that tuned with precision as it progresses. Like Psychology, whether you call it an art or a science it is nevertheless a reality. The following  is a very accurate description from my experience of dealing with a bully and witnessing it being played out on former colleagues.

" - the bully can use threats, insults, and taunts, whispers, stories and lies. They sound convincing and soon get the support of others. You are left out of their circle of friends, events, community and make you feel unwanted to the point you feel you don't belong …"

Have you encountered someone using these tactics? If the answer is yes, you most likely have encountered a bully.

You may be aware of someone who is being bullied or a victim yourself of this evil. Perhaps you are considering blowing the whistle on the bully. Let me tell you upfront it can be costly. What I am about to share is not intended to deter you from taking action but to inform you of what I have personally witnessed.

As in the case of reporting abuse and sexual assault, you will face the risk of not being heard, not taken seriously, be pressured to recant, facing a public battle causing you to relive the experience over and over again. You will have to face the wrath and rejection of the bully’s supporters which will include colleagues and even people in positions of authority who rather cover it up for personal or organizational gain or just do not have the will to stand up for the cause of justice. Last but not the least of my personal observations, all of which I witnessed, is being let go from your position.( Two Pastors whom I know personally experienced the latter just recently.)  In the church setting, this is done in the name of the Lord and in the pretense of “Love”. What a mockery.  May the Lord have mercy on their souls!

If you intend to try and expose a bully I offer the following advice:

It would be wise to first of all confide in people you can trust. Surround yourself with people who will give you moral and spiritual support and other resources that you will need. Do not try to bear it alone.

If you weigh the cost and take the risk and the result is not what you hoped for, let me tell you there is satisfaction in knowing you did what you could and one day someone else will reap the results of your sacrifice because you dared to stand up and speak up for the sake of justice.

Christian denominations have in their ranks, radicals that can be as dangerous to society as the extremists in non - Christian religions that propagate terror. We need to be aware of such tyranny at home, especially those in the pulpit, who use their position and title to “cover up” a multitude of sins

I hope what I have shared in these two posts on Bullying by Clergy will in some small way contribute to winning the battle against tyrants who bully, and who operate in the religious realm of the church with their worldly politics and business models that bring a reproach to the Gospel.
All abusers, including the bully dperate on a level so low that the snakes stand tall and have in common with the snakes the fact that they are just as slippery and equally as dangerous.

Researching and writing on this subject has been a form of Therapy for me as I recover from the trauma inflicted on me from what I saw, heard and handled in my resolve to stand up and speak up against such eyewitnessed abuse in a church.

I hope you will resolve to do the same.  There is no place, especially in the pulpit, for such pious, pompous, arrogant, self-righteous and self-serving individuals. If you have assumed that I have no regard for bullies and those who condone and tolerate them, than you are absolutely correct.

I conclude with a quote from   Micah 6:8.

He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

Until next time,

God Bless!

Pastor Harold.

SPIRITUAL HEALTH & EMOTIONAL WELLNESS- Bullying by Clergy

In recent years the awareness of bullying has been heightened because of a couple of students who had the courage to take a stand. However, the sad news is most people seem to think it is limited to the school yard.

Well, I received the shock of my life when I witnessed it taking place in a church setting. The perpetrator was an Ordained Minister.  I was distraught by what I had witnessed, only to learn from two of my colleagues that they had witnessed similar behaviour by this person on previous occasions in other churches. I later learned it was even more wide spread.

In 35 years as a Pastor, many of which I served in leadership roles and with 13 years as a School Board Trustee, I have witnessed the dark side of human nature by people in places of trust.  Nothing in my experience was worse than seeing a person in a place of trust abuse their authority at the expense of those who were vulnerable and to witness the ineffectiveness of those who should have been doing something to protect them.

Unfortunately there are some clergy who dare to abuse their position and hide behind the cloth as some invincible messenger of God, not accountable to anyone. The pretext of 1 Chronicles 16:22 (Saying, “Do not touch my anointed ones, and do my prophets no harm.) is used by too many ministers as a license to abuse authority. Church culture has spawned the notion you cannot question the man or woman of God. This has prepared people to excuse the misconduct of Ministers and have left innocent victims to become casualties.

John Parsons in writing on this offers the following insight, “…the mantra “touch not my anointed”, is sometimes quoted by self- styled leaders as a means of maintaining control over the assembly. In other words this phrase is interpreted (by them) as, “I am not to be criticized, since I am one of God’s anointed ones.”

This is not what the scripture is saying rather, it is an abuse of God’s word to manipulate others. It is effectively used in some churches today. Most church boards are ill equipped to address it, and at a loss of how to deal with complaints of bullying or abuse. One board I know of tried to address such a complaint only to lose control of their investigation to the perpetrator who took charge of the process of investigating the complaint against him. You can guess what the outcome was.

How many are out there suffering in silence? How many junior ministers and staff fear the ramifications if they report? There is a lesson to be learned from the sexual abuse cases in the past that were covered up by church leaders. If that lesson is not learned, bullying may become the biggest cover up of the church in this decade.

Things are not the same as fifty years ago. Times have changed and institutions such as the church must adapt to the changes and learn how to effectively deal with the issues of the day.

Now grant it, bullying as it is defined today occurred fifty years ago but because of the times it went unaddressed. I was bullied as a child by my pastor who was also my music teacher. I was bullied by a teacher and yes I was bullied by the school yard bullies. I was even bullied by a bull, but it wasn’t his fault, I was wearing a bright red sweater. Come to think of it, I was bullied by a girl! (O.K. Kyrsten- I was ugly and my mother dressed me funny and I am slow and I’ll try not to park behind your car again). Back in those days you would not risk reporting a minister or a teacher, they were held in such high regard it was unthinkable to even suggest they could do wrong and time has proven how wrong we were. Concerning the school yard bully, you dare not say anything for fear of being labelled a “sissy”.  However in today’s world it is extremely important to speak out against bullying. It should be reported even at the risk of being called a “sissy” and those who are being bullied deserve to be heard and taken seriously because it is serious and very damaging psychologically. Howbeit, some issues associated with bullying can be more complex.

  Let’s take for an example the case of a child being bullied at school. In this hypothetical case he is a “snitcher” and some of his peers retaliate by bullying him. Both behaviors are wrong and if not corrected will be very damaging over time. The snitcher will grow up to be an adult snitcher. If confronted as an adult for his snitching,  He, will be traumatised  from the memory of being bullied as a child and will perceive the event as being bullied when in reality he is be held accountable for a wrong behaviour that continues to get him into trouble.  Having been bullied in the past he now sees himself as an expert on the subject of bullying and uses his situation to get attention which most likely is associated with his real problem and a need for attention in his childhood. It may come from his parenting or lack of it or it may be a developmental issue. The fact is he has unresolved issues from his past that were not dealt with. The bully(s) from his past were  not dealt with so they continue on from the school yard, to the home, the workplace or even the pulpit ,using their refined bullying skills to try and meet in this inappropriate way a need that have existed in his life as a child. It is somewhat similar to the case of addicts. Addiction is not the real problem, it is just the symptom. Cocaine, alcohol, sex or even food can be the drug of choice to try and meet in an inappropriate way a real need. Until the past is revisited to deal with the presenting problem, it will continue into the future.  Sad to say in both cases; bullying and addictions leave behind a trail of destruction and psychological damage.

I have chosen in particular to take a stand and speak out against bullying in the church by clergy because it is the area that I am most familiar with and I have witnessed it personally. This I must do regardless of the cost. I refuse to bury my head in the sand and pretend it doesn’t happen.  It is my responsibility and yours to raise the awareness of bullying and do everything in our power to try and prevent it from happening. It is not about being judgmental or punitive, (another thing the church is guilty of, but I won’t get into it here). Bullies need help, in most cases they do not realize they are bullies and have become very skilled in covering up their emotional problems.  When a bully is exposed it can be a win- win situation. He or She can be helped and the trail of abuse comes to an end.

It is time for churches of all denominations to become aware of the bullying being carried out by some of its clergy, particularly in churches where there is multiple staff. Policies and procedures need to be put in place to deal with bullying and a zero tolerance stand needs to be taken. Individuals in local leadership should be trained to handle complaints. This would no doubt help to address the problem of bullying in the church.

I ask you will to take a stand and speak out against bullying wherever it occurs.

If you have been a victim of bullying by someone in authority, I would like for you to respond to this blog, it is not necessary to identify yourself, I would just like to get an idea of how wide spread it is. To do so, click the reactions box “cool”, located at the bottom of this blog.

Until next time,

Blessings!

Pastor Harold

SPIRITUAL HEALTH & EMOTIONAL WELLNESS- Joy

My wife Dena and me recently relocated to Woodstock NB from Fort McMurray Alberta where I was involved in Professional Counselling. In September we are opening a private practice here. The name of the business is C4Professional Services. (Counselling, Coaching, Consulting, & Contracting.)  I named the Counselling and Coaching aspects of the business, “JOY” Professional Counselling and Life Coaching. Why did I use “Joy” in the name? Read on.

When I ask clients to name three things they would wish for, if their wishes would come true, almost without exception they include happiness or joy. In our busy and challenging fast pace world most people are driven by anxiety and have lost their joy.

I remember when I faced my personal ministry and health crisis in late 2002. Early in 2003 I applied for skills training through HRDC. The counsellor who interviewed me doubted if I would be approved to continue my training in professional counselling but referred me to her superior anyway. During my interview with her she commented, “It is time to put some “joy” back into your life. She approved my training. Since then I went on to complete a diploma in Professional Counselling Practice and completed my Master’s Degree in Religion with a concentration in Christian Counselling and became a Registered Professional Counsellor (RPC). See what a little encouragement, by people who believe in you, can accomplish. These two ladies were among several people who had a positive influence on my life during this difficult time.

For over thirty five years I have been an Ordained Minister. Pastoring church congregations was my primary responsibility. It also included Pastoral Counselling and in my later years of pastoring, involved Professional Counselling. It has become my passion. I dreamed of the day when I could devote my time to it as a second career. Having retired from the pastorate, I am now in the position to live the dream during the sunset years of my ministry life, through Pastor’s INn  Ministries and C4 Professional Services. PTL!

In this post on Spiritual Wellness and Emotional Health, I decided to talk a little bit about the positive and pleasant emotion of “Joy”. In the teaching of Jesus, he refers to it as “happiness” as He outlines the principles of His Kingdom in Matthew’s Gospel, chapter five. He uses the Greek word “Makarios” in our language it translates, “happiness” or “Joy”.  His formula for such a life is found in His response to the religious leaders of his day, recorded by a Tax Collector by the  name of Matthew.  He quoted Jesus, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Now, let me answer the question posed at the beginning of this article. Here is the rationale behind using “JOY” in the name of my Counselling and Coaching practice.

First, it reminds me of the time in my life when God in His providence connected me with people who believed in me and had the power to help restore joy to my life.

Second, my very first professional client was going through a major life crisis which had drained the joy from her life. I journeyed with her during this very difficult time and watched her as she went from the caterpillar stage, into the cocoon and as I write, she is about to stretch her butterfly wings into the freedom of a new identity and life of joy. What a transformation! A testimony to what counselling is all about.

Finally it is an acronym for Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 22:37 ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

J – esus , O – thers, Y – ou.

Your life can be Blessed, by finding joy through a relationship with Jesus, loving relationships with others, and investing your life in helping to put a little joy back into someone else’s life instead of focusing on yourself.

Blessings!

Pastor H

SPIRITUAL WELLNESS AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH - Loneliness.

I heard an interesting story last week. Let me give you my paraphrased version.

“Edna decided to clean out the bird cage using her vacuum cleaner. She gingerly placed the nozzle of the hose at the bottom of the cage. Then the phone rang. After she had instinctively answered it, she noticed “Chirpy” was missing. She immediately hung up and opened the vacuum cleaner. There was “Chirpy” all covered in dust. Quickly she began to shake off the dust and rushed to the bathroom sink and put him under the tap and turned on the cold water. Noticing the bird shaking violently, she took her blow dryer and proceeded to dry him off before returning him to his cage. Later, her friend who had called her earlier, asked about “Chirpy”. Edna replied, “ Chirpy is not the same any more, he just sits there and stares!”

Life circumstances, often take away our song, leaving us traumatized. I have recently been reading Charles Stanley’s book, “The Source of My Strength”.  A dear friend of mine shared with me from this book some timely words of encouragement when I hit a wall in my life’s journey.  I picked up the book recently as I was unpacking and began to casually read it. I got hooked and decided to study it for the benefit of my spiritual wellness and emotional health.  I would like to share with you some of what I gleaned from this book.

Today, I will talk about Loneliness, which maybe the most painful experience in life.  Thousands of people feel abandoned, isolated, ostracized, alone feeling lonely.

Divorce for example is a very traumatizing event that may result in the overwhelming feeling of intense loneliness and isolation from the rest of the world.

The elderly suffer loneliness over what once was. Such loneliness is intensified by the grief of losing a spouse.

For me it was the feeling of abandonment and being ostracized from a recent life experience that filled me with an overriding feeling of loneliness, similar to what retirees often feel when they are cut off from acquaintances and colleagues.

The good news is the transforming, life changing power of Jesus Christ can heal our wounded hearts.

He stated one day in a Jewish Synagogue, “The Spirit of the Lord is on Me. He has put His hand on Me to preach the Good News to poor people. He has sent Me to heal those with a sad heart. He has sent Me to tell those who are being held that they can go free. He has sent Me to make the blind to see and to free those who are held because of trouble." NLT.

David the infamous psalter experienced this truth in his life and wrote,  " I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
and he turned to me and heard my cry.
² He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
³ He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.” NLT.

You may feel traumatized by your life experience; maybe loneliness has taken away your song. Don’t just “sit and stare” patiently seek the Lord’s help.

Charles Stanley in “The Source of My Strength”, p19. Suggests,

“When you are feeling lonely…turn first to the Lord. He would love to spend time with you! Talk to Him about how you are feeling. Ask Him to comfort your heart, and to send a friend your way.”

It worked for me!

Visit my web site www.pastorsinnministries.com  and receive information on services which may help you to heal from your heart wounds. RETREATS are returning in September, email for more information.

Blessings!

Pastor H.

Light In The Darkness

Well, it has been quite some time since my last post. I have gone through a major roller coaster ride since my last entry. My daughter Ruthie made this comment after asking how I was doing. I told her God and  a Lawyer friend of the family are looking after me. She replied: "At least they are two people you can trust."

Lately I am working on upgrading my Website with the help of my son Mike. My son Steven designed a logo for PIM.
I just finished a new design for my business card for the Counselling aspect of PIM.
Currently Dena and I are in Terrace B.C. vacationing. I feel somewhat like Elijah. After spending a couple of days under the juniper tree, I have come to the mountain(s) to hear " the still small voice."  and God is speaking into my heart along the lines he spoke to Elijah.  "There is still a work to be done."

Eighteen months ago I left Moncton by train to travell to Edmonton. From there I picked up my car and drove to Calgary to pick up Dena who had come there by plane to visit with her niece and sisters.We then drove to Fort McMurray to begin an exciting new adventure in ministry. What began with a high ended on a low. Our ministry concluded at the same time we lost our colleagues in ministry, their young son and a friend who was expecting her first child. We haven't completed the grieving of this loss yet. Our extended vacation is helping us to come to terms with all the loss we experienced in April. It is so good to have friends and relatives in times like these.

We anticipate returning to Woodstock, NB our adopted town and province to restart Pastor's Inn Ministries. We started this while pastoring at Bethel Assembly in the Maritime District. We put the Retreat aspect on hold while ministering in Fort McMurray.

As we travel east, into the darkness, in pursuit of the light, we will prove these words to be a reality for us and our ministry,

 “The Lord turns my darkness into light.”2 Samuel 22:29

I am including the Vision and Mission of PIM as well. Please pray for Dena and I as we continue in ministry that the Lord's will be done.

“LIGHT IN THE NIGHT.” 

 “The Lord turns my darkness into light.”2 Samuel 22:29        

Pastor’s INn Ministries

Promoting Spiritual and Emotional Wellness with Comfortable Retreats, Confidential Professional Counselling, Life Coaching & Competent Educational Events and Products.

Vision Statement

To facilitate transformation into spiritual and emotional wholeness, one life at a time.

Mission Statement

Partnering with the Trinity and others for excellence in transforming lives in a safe, confidential and relaxing environment, through comfortable retreats, confidential professional counselling , life coaching, and competent educational events and products.

 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.

Isaiah 61:1-2 NIV.

An individual is transformed into an emotionally healthy spiritual person when, through prayer, the power of the Holy Spirit is released at the intersection of brokenness and biblical meditation.” 

“It is better to meditate than to medicate.”

Blessings!

Pastor Harold