Saturday, 7 December 2013

SPIRITUAL HEALTH & EMOTIONAL WELLNESS - PTSD, Nelson Mandela & Revenue Canada




What is Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)? In answering this question the National Institute of Mental Health states,

“PTSD develops after a terrifying ordeal that involved physical harm or the threat of physical harm. The person who develops PTSD may have been the one who was harmed, the harm may have happened to a loved one, or the person may have witnessed a harmful event that happened to loved ones or strangers.

PTSD was first brought to public attention in relation to war veterans, but it can result from a variety of traumatic incidents, such as mugging, rape, torture, being kidnapped or held captive, child abuse, car accidents, train wrecks, plane crashes, bombings, or natural disasters such as floods or earthquakes.”

Well I am of the opinion that traumatic stress is not limited to physical harm but also includes mental harm and can be brought on by something as simple as losing your job in today’s society.

In any event, Nelson Mandela, who survived both physical and mental trauma has become an international icon and beacon of hope. He is a unique individual largely by his choice not to let the trauma inflicted upon him destroy him, but rather choose to allow it to mound him into a compassionate servant leader. He who is now dead, “yet speaketh”, and may we be inspired by his voice of hope. His example shows us, regardless of injustices, we can make a difference without torching police cars and threatening lives. There is a more noble way. Mandela has shown us that “evil can be overcome by good”.

Thank you Nelson Mandela for your sacrificial life and for your death which has unleashed a tsunami of good news in the media. It is so refreshing to escape the coverage of corruption in the Mayor’s office, the Red Chamber (red with embarrassment these days) and the PMO’s office which should also be glowing red with embarrassment, the PM in particular.

It is so much easier to curse the darkness than to light a candle. I have done my fair share of lamenting over the sociopathic leadership in churches and government, simply because I have been affected by both. But maybe it’s time to be inspired by Mandela to be one voice, one life devoted to change and become more active.

Certainly, there is a need for change in our country. More than anything we need leadership with compassion, not cold insensitive leadership that seems to be the incarnation of the bureaucratic agencies created by government like the Employment Insurance Agency and Revenue Canada to name just two.

Where is the compassion for our soldiers who suffer from PTSD and return home after the trauma of being engaged in a war we didn’t start only to find there is limited access and few resources to help them to cope. Even the resources that could be used are not available because of beauracy.  Help is refused or not available often due to the paper qualifications demanded by National Defense or even Medavie Blue Cross who refuses to pay for mental health care for its clients  unless they see a professional with specific paper credentials, obviously a savings for them at the expense of their clients because of limited availability. A clear case of capital trumping compassion. There is no excuse for months of waiting in order to see a Mental Health Professional. People can receive, and should receive help when they need it. A Master’s or Doctorate degree is not a requirement to give Mental Health First Aid. The Mental Health Commission has trained instructors through Mental Health First Aid Canada, but where is the support of Government or other agencies to promote and pay for the training of the public?

Getting back to Employment Insurance and Revenue Canada. We have the lack of support for people who are victims of stress because of unexpected job loss. Take those in Saskatchewan in the pot ash industry for example. Think for a moment about the trauma and loss of dignity and the stress they will experience at this time of year. But we have Employment Insurance for such emergencies. Now that is one big joke! Fifty five percent of your original income, reduced further if you choose to work for a minimum wage and if you are sixty years old or over and have taken a penalty to claim a pension that you paid into over your working career, be prepared to declare that as income to further reduce your benefits. Revenue Canada is already watching to inform Employment Insurance should you not be aware that it is income you must report. Their computer screens are already fired up and itchy fingers are at the keyboard in anticipation to nail you while their eyes are closed to the criminal element that are robbing our government blind.

Talk about PTSD and the unnecessary trauma and stress imposed on people by agencies that are supposed to help relieve stress in times of crisis. Coupled with leaders that incarnate their lack of concern and compassion there is definitely a need for change. Here I am on the verge of cursing the darkness. Can one voice, one life be a catalysis for change in this country, to make a difference for our soldiers, the person struggling with mental illness, the neighbor who after working all their life time is now further traumatized by government agencies funded by their tax dollars.

Will there be more Mandela’s in this world or after his burial will we go back to wallowing in the mire of the corruption and continue to watch the faces of the corrupted flashed to us daily by the media and try to find solace in the thought, it only happens to the other person. Where is the compassionate, servant leadership needed at all levels of our society. Do you have the spirit of Mandela?  Don’t become a victim of PTSD and buy into the lie that the only way to escape the pain is death by suicide. There is hope there is help, you can make a difference. Rise up!

Until Next Time

Blessings!

Pastor Harold

Saturday, 2 November 2013

Spiritual Health & Emotional Wellness - You can't trust leadership to tell the truth"


” You can’t trust leadership to tell the truth”. If I take Senator Mike Duffy at face value, I am living in that day. While it may not be true of all leadership it is certainly true of some.
The recent Senate scandal is a wake- up call to all of us. We need to discern the times in which we live and see how far we have drifted from values like integrity, trust, honesty and the like. Sadly there seems to be a prevailing attitude of “who cares”. Who cares if Prime Ministers or for that matter, Presidents, Mayors, Business executives, Priests or Pastors in leadership can’t be trusted to tell the truth and have no shame in cover ups to deceive the public. It seems to be no big deal as long as they can deliver on bringing success in the form of some type of prosperity. If the numbers are good, if there is something to make us feel good, anything to appeal to our pride, as long as they don’t get caught in their deception, then who cares?  If they, “lie, buy and destroy”, to hold on to power and take care of their self –interests, if they use others as dirt rags and harm the careers of good people in covering up their sins, who cares ?
Well, I don’t know about you, but I do. The dishonest actions of a leader will eventually effect the country and its citizens. History bears witness and will do so again in our time. The same is true in all organizations, secular and religious.
Lying and deception are not new concerning leaders. Good people if they are not held accountable can become corrupted by power and position. We can go back to the days of King David in the nation of Israel to see how power and position without accountability nearly destroyed him. Fortunately there was a voice for righteousness in the land and the King humbled himself to accountability and came clean about his lying scheme to cover up his wrong doing. He was sorry for what he did, not because he got caught but because it was wrong. (Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” - the complete story is historically recorded in the Bible- 2 Samuel 11-12).  David however was willing to confess and repent, something that is rarely even considered today and there are very few with the will to stem the tide of wrong doing in today’s society and stand for the truth, demanding accountability from leaders.
So what does this have to do with Spiritual Health and Emotional Wellness? I believe it speaks for itself. A person who grasps after power and will “lie buy and destroy” to hold on to it for selfish interests and pride is both spiritually unhealthy and emotionally unwell.
When corruption and cover up is the order of the day in all institutions and is deemed acceptable by its constituents, it is a true sign our nation is in a state of spiritual sickness and emotional illness.
The only way to change is to start by admitting to having a problem and then to take action to change. David got it right, confession and repentance,  it’s the honorable thing to do, Mr. Prime Minister, Mr. President, Mr. Mayor, Mr. Business Executive, Mr. Priest , Mr. Pastor, Mr. Mrs. Ms.

Until Next Time- Blessings!

Pastor Harold

Saturday, 26 October 2013

SPIRITUAL HEALTH & EMOTIONAL WELLNESS - Is Your Leader A Sociopath ?


Is your Leader a Sociopath?
Never take leaders for granted. God allows people to be in leadership positions but it should not be taken for granted that such leaders are emotionally healthy. Some are sociopaths with leadership positions in business, government and religion.
When I was a young soldier in the Canadian Armed Forces, I worked at a hospital in Kingston, Ontario. It was my responsibility to provide care to inmates from the surrounding Federal Penitentiaries. I was amazed by their skills and how they functioned as criminals, some of these inmates were sociopaths. I assumed that all sociopaths were criminals. I have since discovered the truth. Sociopaths can find their way to leadership positions in today’s society in all walks of life including the pulpit.Spiritual healthy and emotional well churches are discerning churches that doesn’t take leaders for granted.
 
The June issue of Psychology Today has an article in it called, “Inside the mind of a Manipulator” it contains the confessions of a sociopath. This article is very enlightening. After reading it I decided to write this article, “Is Your Leader a Sociopath?" 

 I encountered a leader who exhibited personality traits of a sociopath. When I expressed this concern to certain leaders under his leadership, the response was as if I was crazy. They may have assumed as I once did that only criminals can be sociopaths. I witnessed similar characteristics as confessed in the story of, “Confessions of a Sociopath.”

Her story is prefaced by saying, “……people are attracted to my exceptionalism like moths to a flame.”

In what sounded to me as a boasting tone, she states, “Remorse is alien to me. I have a penchant for deceit. I am generally free of entangling and irrational emotions. I am strategic and canny, intelligent and confident, but I also struggle to react appropriately to other people’s confusing and emotion driven social cues.” 

The article claims the silent majority of sociopaths live freely and anonymously, holding down jobs, getting married, having children. The writer also claims, “Sociopaths are highly immune to depression, and the ability to tell ourselves wonderful stories about ourselves helps.” It further says, “Aggression, risk taking, and a lack for one’s own health, or that of others, are hallmarks of sociopathy.” 

Don’t be fooled into thinking only criminals can be sociopaths. Look for the signs. (I have highlighted them in bold print in this article). If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, it probably is a “sociopath”, ducking behind an appointed leadership role, manipulating with false authority. Churches that lack spiritual discernment are easy prey for such leadership assuming they are appointed by God and they become victims of spiritual abuse. Is your Leader a Sociopath?

Reference: Psychology Today June 2013.
Until next time
Blessings!
Pastor Harold

Monday, 14 October 2013

SPIRITUAL HEALTH & EMOTIONAL WELLNESS: A Healthy Personality.


This is Thanksgiving in Canada, as I write. I received a Thanksgiving greeting this weekend from a friend who also reminded me that I had not blogged since May. Obviously a little bit of encouragement worked, so here I am doing an article which I should have done in June.
Today I will write about the fourth point on the self – compass, strength. You may need to review the previous posts to refresh your memory on the other compass points. I apologise for the lengthy interval.
According to Dan Montgomery, “strength reflects the human need for competence, adequacy, and social visibility”. Things like achievement, drive, enthusiasm, dedication, and perseverance are contributions of strength that enhance a person’s confidence and creativity as a worthwhile human being. The absence of such deprives one of an identity. A manipulative trend occurs when esteem, confidence and a sense of adequacy are turned into controlling, dictating and judging.  This can lead to a narcissistic compulsive disorder and also to psychotic mania. Hence, the need for balance between strength and weakness.  (Uncertainty, vulnerability and soul-searching which can lead to developing humility and empathy for others).
The perfect example for understanding the dynamics of balanced human behaviour is Jesus Christ. In the Good Shepherd we see His love and caring, in the Lion of Judah we see his assertion and courage. In the Lamb of God we see His weakness and humility, In the Prince of Peace we see His strength and esteem. The rhythm of His personality prevented Him from being stuck on any one point of the self-compass. He gives us an example to follow but we need help to achieve this balance.
 Compass Therapy was developed by Dan Montgomery to redeem self-defeating rigidity that is perpetuated by being stuck on various compass points.  It offers a dynamic set of checks and balances to help develop wholeness while navigating through life.  According to one counsellor, the self- compass shows people how they’re put together so they can learn to live together.
This completes the four points on the self-compass, Love, Assertion, Weakness and Strength.  Love forms the virtue of caring. Assertion, the virtue of courage, Weakness the virtue of humility and Strength, the virtue of esteem. The counterbalancing virtues of caring and courage, and humility and esteem develop in us when we honor the LAWS of personality and relationships.
  I hope you have gained valuable insight from these posts on the Laws of personality and relationships, may they serve to be valuable to you in giving direction for your human and spiritual growth.
For more information  visit, www.compasstherapy.com
Reference: Christian Counselling That Really Works/Dan Montgomery

Until next time,
Blessings!
Pastor Harold

Saturday, 4 May 2013

SPIRITUAL HEALTH & EMOTIONAL WELLNESS: A Healthy Personality.


I have been talking about the “LAWS” of personality as outlined by Dr. Dan & Kate Montgomery in the Self-Compass.www.CompassTherapy.com We talked about Love and Assertion, we now come to the third point on the compass; Weakness. Next time we will talk about Strength.
 
“Trouble brings with it a bucketful of emotions: despair, hurt, revenge, self-pity, anger, sorrow, and a dozen other feelings. If we are not careful, those feelings can dominate us and disorient us from what we know. Emotions derail our thoughts and detour our commitments. How we feel tends to distort what we know.” Joseph M. Stowell.

I can attest to this.This past year I had the bucket of emotions that trouble brings dumped on me.  When we find ourselves in the place where our feelings distort what we know, we risk getting stuck on the “weakness” point of the self-compass.

Weakness can be associated with the virtue of humility which is fine when in rhythm with the other compass points of Love, Strength and Assertion, but if we get stuck on the weakness point we risk the manipulative trend of becoming withdrawn, which unchecked can lead to an avoidant , schizoid disorder. Coupled with depression from dependency it can lead to the psychoses condition called schizophrenia depression.

People stuck on the weakness point of the self-compass are convinced of their own helplessness. The most common feeling associated with this withdrawn state is sadness. Pain is avoided through sleeping, procrastinating or going around in a daze. They become hypersensitive.  Preoccupied with feelings of inferiority, panic, self – pity, fear and insecurity they avoid any kind of risk and go into an emotional cocoon. Usually they shut down in social situations and gain relief by being alone.

“Life is a party they can never attend”, according to Dan Montgomery.

People stuck on the weakness point of the compass need counselling to help them activate their strength, assertion, and love compass points.

If you become a victim to trouble and find yourself getting stuck on the weakness point there is hope. There is always available the trusted resource of God’s Word. Its truth in our time of pain gives an advantage, an edge in trouble, a unique edge to which we can cling.

 Stowell says, “Our resource in pain is not what we feel but rather what we know.” He also states, “Our assurance is that whether in pleasure or in pain, God is able to bring about that which is good as we respond constructively.”

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28. NIV.

This we know,

Until next time

Blessings!

Pastor Harold
www.pastorsinnministries.com

Tuesday, 9 April 2013

SPIRITUAL HEALTH & EMOTIONAL WELLNESS- A Healthy Personality.


Dr. Dan Montgomery in his work; Compass Therapy refers to the LAWS of a healthy personality as: Love, Assertion, Weakness and Strength.  When operating in balance there is a rhythm that was perfectly modeled by Jesus. We should strive to follow His model.
 Last time we took a look at Love. In this article we will explore Assertion. Both points need to be in balance for a healthy personality. I agree with Montgomery when he says, “assertion imparts the courage to express one’s point of view, challenge unfairness, and resist exploitation or manipulation.”  This quality is supressed in religious and political circles when a leader in a position of authority views it as a threat to his/her authority.  They place people on a guilt trip by implying that assertiveness demonstrates a lack of love or loyality. This kind of leadership style is used to deny people the opportunity to negotiate for one’s reasonable rights, and to express one’s self. Just ask some of the members of the Federal PC caucus  or former  members of Margaret Thatcher's government.
Montgomery states, “all people experience bouts of anger or discontent, when their interests rub against the wishes of others.”  He suggests that assertion be expressed in tandem with caring or love to raise the probability of successful conflict resolution.  Conflict will remain unresolved where opportunity to express one’s self is denied or if it is expressed without caring. A healthy organism and organization is one with a balance between love and assertion and as we will see later a balance between strength and weakness.
A dependency trend occurs when love is over exaggerated manifested by pleasing and placating. It may also foster a state of depression. On the other hand over exaggerated assertion leads to an aggression trend manifested by blaming and resentment which in the extreme becomes paranoia. So it is unhealthy to be stuck on either one of these points.
People with an aggressive trend according to Montgomery exhibit feelings of bitterness, hatred and spite. If they don’t get their way, they make plans to get even and hold grudges for years. They display a lack of trust and they are famous for abusing others without feeling guilty. Stubbornness and pride are built into the aggressive trend. Their views are always right. They are suspicious of anyone who might teach them something. They are masters of controlling people through anger and take offense over the slightest issue. On the other hand they can be quite charming if it gets them what they want. They see compromise as a sign of weakness therefore they are unwilling to give in even on trivial issues. Montgomery claims if they are religious they serve God by threatening people so they will obey.
I can only imagine the discomfort of working for or living with such a person, not to mention the tyranny that would exist under the leadership of a person stuck on this personality trait.
Next we will explore the tension between the other two points that make up the LAWS of personality- Weakness and Strength, as we complete the profile of a healthy personality.

Until next time

Blessings!

Pastor Harold

Sunday, 3 March 2013

SPIRITUAL HEALTH & EMOTIONAL WELLNESS: Laws of Personality


In preparation for a retreat at Gander NL in May, I have been reading and researching the subject of “relationships”. These are the three dynamics that I believe affect relationship matters: 1. Personality. 2. Perspective. 3. Protection. Personality is about “being”, (who we are). Perspective is about “seeing”, (our point of view) and Protection is about “doing”, (taking action). In this blog I am writing about who we are, our personality and how it is a factor in our relationships.
Dan Montgomery in his work, Compass Therapy, charts the personality by using four points on a compass. The acronym LAWS is used. L- Love, A- assertion, W- weakness, S- strength.  When all four are in balance it creates a rhythm for a healthy personality. Unlike Jesus of Nazareth, who is the only one who inhabited this earth with a perfect personality, we struggle. We can find ourselves stuck on one or more of the compass points.
Montgomery points out the tension that exists with the “LAWS” of personality. Love verses Assertion, Weakness verses Strength.  One is not better than the other, the key is balance.  For example a person with a healthy personality can be tender and caring as well as diplomatically assertive. S/He can be competent and confidently strong as well as humbly aware of his or her weakness. The degree to which these characteristics or “LAWS” of personality are out of balance determines a person’s maladaptive trends. Taken to the extreme it can result in disorders at best and psychoses at worst.
Let’s take as the first point on the compass- Love.
Love reflects a person’s caring and tenderness as seen in kindness, thoughtfulness, consideration of others, forgiving, compassionate and sacrificing. However, a healthy personality must also include assertion. A person has a need to express one’s point of view, the responsibility to challenge injustice, unfairness, exploitation, manipulation, bullying and the like. Diplomatic assertion preserves reasonable rights, solicits mature coping skills and can contribute to successful conflict resolution.
To be stuck on the love compass point and out of balance with assertion will produce a pleaser pattern.  Montgomery says, “The pleaser pattern exaggerates the need for love and approval at the expense of self-expression”.
The virtues of love can be caring, nurturing and forgiving, but without assertiveness it can turn into a maladaptive trend of dependency exhibited by pleasing and placating. Unaddressed it can result in a dependent histrionic disorder and develop into state of depression .
Next time we will look at " A"-ssertion.
Until next time,
Blessings!
Pastor Harold